We’ve had a pretty busy week, had a great labor day weekend and even enjoyed seeing my Cousin in town from Maryland with her 5 month old little girl.
It was a tough tough week for Luke. Poor little Luke had his world turned up side down when this little baby came along and stole his spotlight. For some reason I didn’t even think about prepping him more for this visit. I realized this when we picked them up from the airport and as soon as we got in the car I heard “stop looking at me” come from the back seat since baby Kara was facing backwards in her car seat and staring straight at him with the amazement only a 5 month baby has. When she cried on the way home it got worse when he kept yelling “STOP crying! SHHHH!”
I thought “oh dear” and I was pretty embarrassed, I won’t lie. Suddenly my easy going, happy go lucky and friendly toddler turned into a rude impatient demanding 2.5 year old. Where did all those manners we taught him suddenly go I thought? I jumped to correct him and tell him “Luke, we don’t talk like that – please stop” and it only got worse. He resented having this little baby in “his territory” and I started to panic. I called Jennie, because she and I always brain storm these kinds of parenting dilemmas and she helped me come up with a plan and reminded me how difficult it is for kids to deal with this kind of transition. She worked hard to prep Cody for 9 months (err…6 months considering she didn’t find out she was preggers until she was 10 weeks along) for the arrival of his little brother and Luke’s suddenly had this dropped in his lap…literally. In my head, I saw this week playing out quite differently and assumed he would be just a friendly as he is with all the other kids he knows. I get the “DUH!” Mom award for this one…what was I thinking?!
That night, at bedtime, I talked with Luke about what he was feeling with having baby Kara here and he said this…”Mommy, when baby Kara cries, it scares me.” I immediately felt pretty guilty for being so dismissive to him earlier on and I knew then that he just needed a little extra comforting with such a huge change being suddenly thrust upon him.
The last week has been a huge eye opener for all of us. I remember Jane Bluestein saying “Behind every action is an emotion” and I was reminded of that first hand this past week. Whenever our kids are acting out just step back and look at the bigger picture and ask yourself what’s really going on here? Ask your kids. It’s amazing what they’ll tell us when we are really listening to them! Then we can really help them through the challenges they face instead of playing “whack a mole” with our kid’s challenges.
I’m waking up today with just the three of us in the house and being very grateful that even as desperate as we are to have more kids – I’ll never take for granted how special it is to be Luke’s Mom and it’s one more day I get to have that one on one time with him before I have those sibling rivalry challenges that we had a taste of this past week. I have to give it up to all those Moms of multiple kids….today you are MY hero! 🙂