As the weekend draws closer and everyone prepares for their New Year’s celebrations I find myself stuck watching all the “best and worst” moments of 2011 and can’t help but wonder what 2012 will bring. The year of 2011 has been the year of “stress” for our family and we are absolutely looking forward to closing one chapter and the start of a new year. I’ve learned a lot about myself this past year and stress management has had a lot to do with those self realizations. Learning to be happy and thankful for what you have in front of you is not always an easy thing…especially when you have life goals. Sometimes you just don’t have control over the goals and visions you have for yourself or your family and finding that peace can be a challenge. I’ve not written about my struggle with infertility for a quite a while, for numerous reasons but mostly because I didn’t want to be “debbie downer” at the same time every month. I haven’t used any fertility/ovulation monitors since the summer because it was getting a little too complicated and stressful for me. I think it’s important to do your research and use those tools for 6 months-1 year to gather info and figure out what’s going on with your body to try and get healthier BUT I would not suggest using them for long term because it’s way to easy to get caught up in the “numbers” and you forget to “have fun” making a baby!
I did go see my OB who wanted to do Clomid and I did go and get a second opinion from a fantastic fertility doctor (Dr. Thomas at Christ Hospital) who doesn’t hand Clomid out like candy. We tried it for three months and after no success we opted for more test results and were told our best chance for having another baby would be IVF. It’s been a lot to take in and we’re still unsure of what our decision will be going forward in 2012. I told the hubs that I was relieved to have some answers but I wanted to take at least 6 months to think it all over and not rush into anything. We both have serious reservations about IVF and I’m just praying and hoping that nature will work its magic before we get to the IVF stage. Every baby really is a miracle.
It took us one long year to get pregnant with Luke and I’m so very grateful for him. I look at him and wonder when he’ll have a sibling and I’ve learned to stop beating myself up over it. I hate that I’ve given into the pressure from other moms about the importance of having another sibling and “you better do it quick – the age gap can’t be too far apart or they won’t play together/be close friends/bond”. I’ve literally stressed myself out over the age gap between kids and the whole thing is just CRAZY. I hear parents say they LOVE the age gap of 3-5 years between their kids and wouldn’t trade it for the world and I also hear parents of kids who are much closer in age say the same thing! Everything works out in the end so I’ll never understand why Moms feel like they have to put others down or attack them because they want something different for their family. The best piece of advice I have learned from 2011 has been this…
Do what’s right for you and your family and be at peace with it. Don’t waste any time worrying about what others think about it. Let’s let everyone enjoy their own unique family dynamics and be grateful for our own. I am so grateful for Luke and thoroughly enjoying the time I have with him and how easy it is with having one kiddo! I know it won’t always be this easy (the thought of having IVF twins scares the crap out of me!) and he’s growing up before our eyes so I’m trying to stay in the moment with him and not take this time for granted!
What have you learned about the year 2011 and what are you looking forward to most in 2012?!